I think of the strength in fragility. The importance of insignificance, and the inverse. And all the other perfectly paired contrary ideas that come along with this human existence. But I don’t need to tell you all that. You, being a human, one that clicked their way here. I suppose there is a limit to the mindless scroll, for some at least.

The new addiction for this modern age. And one seemingly in a whole new class of potency. A quickly made inescapable necessity of today. The disassociating connectiveness that has made the whole human world feel more isolated as the space between grew shorter.

It’s funny, I suppose. I got home from work this morning to a house free of electricity, via the indifferent sway of momma nature. The lack of hum as the rain fell on the unradiating shell of my domicile- it held a strange peace. It felt freeing. That the cage of radio and other such waves that create the cage of current western existence had fallen away. And before and around me lay the insatiable expanse of the elemental reality which my society shields me from. Or denies me of.

The third week, and I already almost slipped. Were it not for a friend reminding me of this newly found again writing exhibition, I may have neglected this all together. Sure, without my prosthesis of technological connection I would not have been able to distribute these ramblings to the masses (all five of you, tops). Still, I know this home holds no shortage of pen, pencil and paper. And candles and battery-operated lights to boot. But I was spared exposing my cowardice to find that the benevolent electric companies returned the energy supply of my commodities and shackles alike upon my return this evening.

So, here I sit.

And there you sit.

Wherever, or whenever that may be. I don’t suppose this will ever reach the past, though I am far from an expert in anything quasi-quantum. But I know that these from the past drag themselves ever onward into the future. Hell, if you knew where to look, you could trace this back over a decade. To the thoughts of some fool-based past, blissfully unaware of all that resides ahead. And ungrateful, to boot. Though that is easily said of anyone, idea or thing that came before.

Recalling now, I spoke with another friend about being here last evening. A co-worker, and a fellow creative. A brother. And I rambled of my resolve to arrive here in a disciplined weekly fashion, set to spew out a few dozen of dozens of words, whether meaningful or not, as a contract of resolve with my own ambition. So, in honor of the equilibrium of inspiration among peers, I’m glad to have come here again.

And apologies.

A bit of a humbug last go around, I was, but understand it is reflexive and defensive, but certainly not ill intentioned. I generally don’t have those sorts of intentions. That sickly kind. Though human as I am, they are never completely void. But from my heart of hearts, from the pits of this unexplainable thing called soul, I believe myself a positive sort of force. Though perhaps force is granting myself far too much strength and agency. Not very ‘the meek shall inherit the earth’ type vibe. But thankfully, I hold enough pragmatism to keep my ego from feeding wholeheartedly into such savior complexes. Bad for the health anyway, for dudes in their early thirties.

However. It seemed easier this time. The oiled parts flow a bit more freely again, and as with these experiments in the past- there is at least a slight solace granted in the attempt. I still have my schemes, which I’ll ever onwardly be getting at. The most pressing of which is a few days away live performance. Solo guitar in a bar. Not a dive, but a neighborhood vibe. But if you found your way here, you either know about that, or could find out. I’ll spend the next few days devising a plan. Or an outline. Or a few minor bullet points. More importantly, I aim to optimize the expression. I know enough tunes and am lucky enough to be able to play those of my own creation- that I can easily fill more than enough allotted time. Done it before, can do again. But that is only part of what all that is all about. And the part that matters to me, at the moment at least, the least.

Rather, I hope all this outward expression manages to at least unconsciously inspire the spark of something in someone else.

Truly, I want little more than that.

Not true. I mildly crave a bit of attention. As long as I can prove worthy of such a thing. And can inversely grant the same to someone, somewhere else.