I don’t do enough, right?

There’s stuff to be done, and here I go again, not doing. Guilt ridden in a world for me to maybe be a beam of better instead of all this not that I am.

Well, not nothing. Not now. And not all that often. But it still appears to be insufficient. To me. And maybe, others. I’m sure of it, in as sure you can be about any moment gone past.

But, enough?

First, what the (expletive) does that even mean? The philosophical idea of enough. Madness. Enough? To be full? To be a success? Or is it but the process of succeeding, doomed to die someday with you along with it?

The insatiable appetite of homo sapiens, in all makes and models.

So, enough might be impossible. For this moment which waltzes without wary into the next. At least.

Simple enough to prove. I feel there is more (much more) left to do in this day. Week. Year. Current sentient existence. Etc. Therefore, I do not have enough to feel the need to cease.

So, onward.

Perhaps its some sort of complex I have developed. This idea that I need to do more. To make or facilitate change and growth not just within myself, but in all the others I can reach. Though certainly (hopefully), inside my own consciousness, as well. At minimum, an expression of ego or baser. At max, impact enough to change something larger than myself for the better.

Though, everyone’s got one, right? Some sort of behavior that someone with degrees on their office wall might call a complex. I’d bet most folks have a few. Maybe even a bunch. Based on mildly educated assumption, of course. I only consult amateurs or off duty professionals on the subject of want and need and ambition, and what, if any, difference is there between all of those within the human mind and psyche.

Just the way I am. No insult intended to the pros.

Yet, as they say and it seems that most agree- we live in needy times. Or times of need. Or that we need more time. Depends on who you ask. Funny times for truth, these days. We never had much of a solid relationship trusting truth to begin with. At least as far as the last few thousand years of documented scribblings left behind. And most minds that think societally and such when asked are sure someone is lying. But again, they just don’t agree on who. The preachers, philanthropists, philosphers, philanderers and politickers. All pointing fingers away from themselves. Current parties not excluded.

The spectator governmental infrastructure generally breaks to those two sides we see all the time. Both claiming truth to the antagonist of the other. Both based on older ideas for civilization that were meant to grow but instead fell obsolete.

My money would be on them all being liars.

But the bureaucrat circus finds its template in the ideas of actual conflicts and conundrums that occur in a quite ‘matter of fact’ method to the people living with the rest of us here in the real world.  

There is strife and struggle the whole cosmic rock ‘round. Some places measurably more so than others. But not even that many generations ago, there were a whole lot less of us. Lots more folks of flesh in not that much time. Wearing a hand-me-down society. Seeming, sort of, probably near the capacity possible by current conditions. Mouths to feed. Cells and shrubbery to hydrate. Chemical balances to maintain and/or modify atmospherically. Then there’s shit like love and meaning and sunshine. And a desire to feel unique when you are one of nearly eight billion.

And am I doing my part? Am I doing all that I can do? Or am I nothing but series after series of complaint, like those I’ve sworn some self-imposed delusion to oppose?

It is easy to slip attention towards only fulfilling needs. Even if only for oneself. And long after survival necessities are met. So, is that where I reside? Too selfish or too scared to do more to leave what is better than what was?

The contradictions we craft are wide spread. And when based on good intentions, the potency becomes more profound. Being passionate about knowing and saying something or things is wrong and need be fixed is seen as widespread. It is incorrect or inaction from which we suffer more.

Easy to whine. Harder to work.

How many vegans have become farmers? How many war protestors help those who return from what they see as tragedies? Or war mongers that provide something, or even anything for the people who suffer from what was seen as necessary? How many socialists cheat on their taxes? How many capitalists collect government checks? How many religious leaders lack compassion, mercy or even regard for human life?

How many hypocrites complain about stuff that they do nothing to fix? For at least a few moments in time, I can think of one guy. He is sitting a chair, typing out his discontentment.

But I don’t believe I’ll take any more moments in hypotheticals today. At least not for the next few hours. Too many tangible and cerebral things to do.

I’d best get to them.